Sensitive and Proud

Isn't it funny how the smallest little things can trigger strong reactions, followed by a little bit of crochet to settle the mind and clear a few things up. This morning a friend shared a copy of her school report card in which it read that they were a little sensitive AND hopefully time will sort this out...... and I had a reaction - I felt angry, angry she had been portrayed as having something wrong and that well, if it wasn't sorted out soon then she'd be doomed (my words of course - good time to mention I'm sensitive). But what was really happening was this little voice inside of me was saying 'hey you know this and it still hurts' My school reports often told me that I was too quiet, over-sensitive and... wait for it..... I had an over active imagination - so I thought those all must be negative attributes because the were said in a negative manner, something was wrong that needed fixing, I was weak and maybe, yeh probably a bit pathetic. Wow what a load of negativity to deal with and don't forget, I am sensitive so just amplify it all by 100%

The thing is, there are all different types of people and we actually need all these different types for our survival - we really do - it is not a case of one type being more valuable to our society than the other, we are all important, and we are all needed to be as authentic to our true selves as can be. And we need to know that. It is important.  You just need to look at a classroom to see the diversity of characters - why on earth would we want them all to be the same, how boring for a start!! But more importantly to function as a community we need these different types to help us grow and evolve. 

For years I was ashamed of my sensitivity  I remember speaking to a doctor at a time when I suffered panic attacks and she asked me to write down 10 things I disliked about myself and guess what! Over sensitive was top of the list, followed by weak & pathetic.  As I grew older I became more aware of the usefulness of being sensitive, I was patient, a good listener, a good empathiser but I still didn't value it, it was more of a 'ugh it's too hard to change so try to look on the bright side' kind of thing. 

In the book Waking The Tiger by Peter Levine, he talks about studies of animal behaviour in herds and reminds us too that we are animals! He mentions in his book that whilst studying a group of animals grazing who are being approached by a predator they notice there are a couple of animals in that herd who sense the danger long before some of the more stronger leaders do, the couple stop feeding, they straighten up, their ears twitch, they are alert and they start to move, all of this alerts the rest of the herd who right up until this point are unaware and they all run for it!! Escaping the danger. So in this moment the sensitive one has become the leader in the community. Now I'm pretty sure when the chase is over they don't all sit around and say hey you need to stop being so sensitive  - NO - they would say hey, thank you for being sensitive, your sensitivity saved our lives, we value you just the way you are. 

I love that story, it was a huge turning point for me to think in these terms and accept that I'm as valuable as the one who is out there pushing forward, leading in a different way, a way that is unique and natural to them and valuable, it's just that it's different to my way. 

And really what it all comes down to is love, if you love yourself, you value yourself. It's about loving all of you, even those parts that feel difficult. Congratulate yourself on being such a valued member of our tribe! 

And if you have sensitive children around you, let them be sensitive and give them a hug, take them to open spaces, the seaside, the forest, the fields, whenever you can.  And if you've got any sensitive grown-ups around you then give them a hug too (seriously.... They give GREAT hugs) 

Just a wee footnote, I'm no expert I'm just talking and I'm still learning. There are some wonderful people out there and wonderful books who have dedicated years to their studies of subjects like this, if any of this resonates with you, know that you're wonderful and you're valued <3 

Charlene xx